Well, after some time I have finally caved under peer pressure to begin my own blog. As many of you know, I am a complete disaster when it comes to keeping in touch with people. So I figured a blog might be the way to go. Lets be honest, this might just be a spure of the moment, whimsical idea that seems fabulous at 2am, but who knows maybe it will turn out to be something more...
So, how do I begin writing about myself? Let's start with the 2am senario shall we?
"can't sleep..."
This has become a common occurance on Tues. nights. I try to fall asleep but my mind is continually awakend by thoughts of the climbing sess that just ended a few hours ago. My mind begins to process all the routes and problems that I'm working on.
A little side note, I have been involved in a training program that is designed to develop climbing skills through effective movement of the body. It is a unique program, because it challenges the idea that being stronger = better climbing. It would argue that better movement = better climbing.
I completely agree with Nate and Graham. My mind is the biggest thing holding me back. My body is strong, and I apparently have good movement skills, so what the hell is my problem? I have tried coming up with answers, and to some success, I have began to realize that I lack intrinsic motivation. I have always been content with what I can do (sports, school, work etc.) And it has always been enough that I can get by. Why try for an "A", "B" sounds good enough to me, and I only have to do half the amount of work!! This doesn't seem like rocket science.
However, now i'm realizing that I want to do more than just "get by", I actually want to being to improve; to excell in something. Is this where the intrinsic motivation begins? Just simply with the desire?
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Peer pressure eh? Or rather you actually want to put one up but will throw the responsibility for it happening onto your "peers". As, presumably I know, I am one of your "peers" I'm on the verge of outrage. Of course that outrage is tempered by a fair amount of glee and joy at your choosing to express yourself in this format.
Your final paragraph is powerful. Very powerful. I know reading it does weird emotionally things in me and that's an indication of a solid piece of work right there. Inside I feel a response that is part desire and part fear. Yes I believe you've struck onto a truth there. May you continue to explore it. May you continue to grow. And may I get off my ass and fill out some more job application forms and stop procrastinating.
ps I guess I'll throw in a tempering analogy that uses climbing symbolism. Heh. Remember, in looking ahead in awe, wonder, fear and disbelief at that which lies invitingly and challengingly above you, to look back every now and then too, and see all that you've overcome to get to where you are. It may not seem like that far now, but at one point in time it probably looked pretty insurmountable too. Basically what am I saying? You've come a long way baby! ;)
And man am I a mighty fine procrastinator. I'm filling out the Starbucks one right now. I handed in MEC yesterday.
Ok.. I'm going now.
Did I tell you about what happened on "super saturday" (sunday)? It involves discovering that we've a local pub a block and a half away from the apartment. How fun is that?
Speaking of Sunday. This Sunday the Banff Film Fest is playing at UVic.
Ok.. I'm really going now.
Arrivederci Principessa!
Man is so made, that whenever anything fires his soul...impossibilities vanish
-La Fontaine
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